4 Times Carole Didn't Propose, and 1 Time She Did
by Victoria1127
Summary: Carole just has one question, if only she could get it out.


**For Maria**

He was so sweet, and so funny, and so nice.

And cute. Oh my God, he was adorable.

And most importantly, he was a good father. I saw the way his son looked at him—like he was a true hero. He was the sun and the moon to Kurt, and it's rare for a teenage boy to still look at his dad like that.

We'd been on one date when I knew I was in love with him. We'd been dating a week when I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

I brought his lunch to him at work on a sunny day in April. He grinned at me and kissed me gently. "What would I do without you, Carole?"

I know I must have blushed furiously. I know what I wanted to say—_If you want, you never have to be without me ever again. Marry me._

But Finn didn't even know we were dating, and I hadn't told Burt I loved him yet. So I swallowed my thoughts and simply said, "Go hungry." with a smile.

...

"Mom, I don't like this at all." Finn had that same gleam in his eye that his father always got when his feelings were hurt and it took me a moment to swallow the lump that lodged itself in my throat. It was those little traces of Christopher in Finn that had always been my weakness, and I knew Finn had no way of knowing that, but I still stubbornly told myself he was doing it on purpose.

"Don't like what? Me being happy?"

"I thought you were happy with me, Mom."

"Finn, you know that I love you more than anything in the world. But—"

"Exactly. You love me BUT. There's always an exception." He turned and stormed off to his room, probably to play a round or ten of whatever game he was on this week. I did the only thing I could think to do—call Burt.

I told him everything Finn said, crying all the while. "I never know what to do...the way he looks at me just kills me..."

"Sweetheart." Burt's smooth voice filtered through the phone and into my ear. "Believe me, I know what that's like. When Kurt cries, he looks just like Maria. Exactly like her. When I see him cry, it's like watching her cry. And I hate it. I have to keep myself from crying every time."

I was silent. He knew just what I was going through. He understood. My heart swelled. "So, you don't hate Finn for disliking you?"

"I can't say I blame him, honestly. He's been the man of the house his entire life, and he doesn't want to mess up what little memory of his dad he still has. Don't worry. He'll come around."

"I love you." I whispered. I'd never said it out loud before just now. I wanted so badly to grab them out of the air and shove them back into my mouth.

"I love you too, baby." He said, sounding like it was the simplest thing in the world; as though he had said it to me a million times instead of this being the first time. "Oh, Mr. Hagewood is here to pick up his Escalade. I'll call you back later. Bye."

"Will you marry me?" I asked the dial tone before hanging up.

...

We'd moved the last box into the house. Finn was still being grumpy about moving in, but Kurt was being pretty cheerful about it. Burt and Finn went to a gas station to get chili dogs for the three of us. Kurt sat at the kitchen table, daintily picking at a salad.

"So, are you a vegetarian?"

Kurt smiled at me. I tried to pick out the parts of his face that he inherited from Burt, but couldn't quite decide what it was. "No, I just try to keep myself healthy...chili dogs just sound like a heart attack waiting to happen."

"Well, you're probably smarter than all of us, Kurt."

He grinned at me. "Finally, someone who agrees with me!" We laughed and chatted like girlfriends for the better part of an hour. Eventually, Burt and Finn showed up with the food and we all ate together for the first time since we moved in.

Later, I told Burt how well me and Kurt were getting along.

"I loved talking to him. He's afraid those chili dogs will kill you one day, you know." I laughed.

"Yeah, he mentioned to me how much he liked you." He smiled. That's what is was—Kurt had his smile. "He called you 'mom' accidentally, actually. You had one hell of an impact on him, Carole."

"It's easy to see why you adore each other so much. He's so sweet and you're just amazing."

"You're amazing." He kissed me. As always, I swooned. "So little separates us from being a legitimate family now, you know."

"_Yeah, all we need now is to get married."_

That's what I WANTED to say.

But we just made a major leap by moving in together, and Finn still wasn't really okay with the situation, and I didn't want to ruin the mood. So instead, I said, "Yeah, I know. I'm so happy."

"Me too, baby."

...

And just like that, we were moving out again. I didn't blame Burt for kicking Finn out. He overreacted in his anger—even _he_ admitted that—but it was obvious that our boys just weren't ready to take that big step just yet.

"I miss you next to me." Burt cooed at me that night as we laid in different beds, connected only by a telephone line.

"I miss you too, baby."

"You know, sometimes I wonder what Finn and Kurt would do if we took the next step."

I gulped. "The next step?"

"You know, marriage." He said nonchalantly. He had a way of making the most important things sound like they were no big deal.

"Oh. Yeah."

"But you know, they wouldn't be able to handle it. I'd be lying if I didn't say I can't wait until they are ready."

I was holding my breath now. "I can't wait either."

"Yeah. I wonder when that will be."

_It doesn't matter. I'll marry you right now. Please. Marry me._

"Who knows? Our boys are so unpredictable."

"Well, baby..." he sighed, "...when they're ready, so am I."

"Have I told you that I love you in the last 5 minutes?"

"I don't believe so."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, baby."

...

I will never forget this day.

Finn called me, crying.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"About Burt's heart attack!"

The world stopped turning. I stopped breathing. I was in my car, rushing to the hospital. I was at the hospital. I don't remember the drive or how I found his room. I just remember walking through that door and seeing him lying there, helpless. Having a machine breathe for him.

I barely left his side for three days. I only left when Kurt asked nicely or when visiting hours were over.

I sat there, looking at that beautiful face that loved me and took care of me and comforted me. Burt Hummel was the man that I loved. The only man I could ever love again. I thought back to every moment we'd had together and wished so hard that there was some way that he could know just how much he meant to me.

Kurt asked me to please leave so that he could talk to his dad. I never wanted to, but he only asked about once a day...and if Finn had still had his father, I wouldn't have hesitated to give him time alone with him. So I went to the cafeteria to get coffee and check my voicemails.

I went back to his room an hour later to see Kurt clutching his hand and crying tears of joy.

Burt's eyes were open. He wasn't moving much, but he was moving.

I began to cry.

After Kurt and I spent time next to his bed together, talking to him and telling him how much we loved him, I asked Kurt to give me a moment alone with Burt. He kissed my cheek and left without a word.

"Baby. I know you don't really have the energy to talk yet. Just listen.

I knew I was in love with you after our first date."

He smiled. I smiled back and continued.

"And I've been completely and utterly devoted to you ever since. You understood what it was like to lose a spouse. You understood what it was like to raise a son by yourself and how hard it is. You understood that I had to put Finn first. You understood me. There was a question I've had in the back of my mind since the very first week, and I'd always suppressed it because I didn't want to scare you away...but then you had this heart attack, and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you and you never knowing how much you meant to me and how much I love you. I can't bear the thought of you not being here with me for the rest of our lives.

Please, please marry me, Burt. I want to spend the rest of my life laughing at your terrible jokes and listening to you make fun of my obsession with soap operas. I want to spend the rest of my life getting manicures with Kurt while you and Finn catch a football game. I want to spend the rest of my life intertwined with you. Please marry me."

His face was blank, and for a split second, I thought I had said the wrong thing. My heart was beating so fast that I suspected we would need the nurse to come check on me. I didn't know what to do.

Finally, he smiled widely and faintly choked out, "I thought you'd never ask." It was barely a whisper, but it was more than enough.


End file.
